a paradox

Happy Home Life Tip #30

Here’s a paradox:

Sometimes I meet a woman who’s heard great things about coaching (and me), and is excited to learn new skills to make positive changes in her life, and solve some of her problems. 

She books a call and we have a great chat.

She tells me she’d love to improve her marriage, or get her kids to cooperate without nagging or yelling, or find a better way to get along with her in-laws, or learn how to feel calm, organized and less stressed-out all the time, etc.

We talk about how I can help, and she says she’s eager to start.

Then she doesn’t.

Why?

Because, even though she’d love to have different outcomes in her life, her primitive brain works against her.  

The primitive brain hates change; change means danger.  It thinks it’s protecting you by keeping the status quo.

It offers you thoughts like,

You shouldn’t prioritize yourself or your health

Money should only be spent on the kids

Coaching may not “work”

Your life isn’t that bad

You don’t deserve help

You’re too old to learn new things

Asking for help means you’re weak

Working on yourself is vain

You don’t have time for coaching sessions

As the mom, you should be able to solve everything

If you can relate to this scenario, know this:

Many of your subconscious thoughts and beliefs aren’t especially useful to you. They’ve come from programming…from your family, school, religion, past experiences and society. They might not even be ones you totally believe.

Learning the skill of how to deliberately choose thoughts (with your prefrontal cortex) that you really like, and that are more beneficial to you than your current subconscious ones are, is a gift you deserve to give yourself.

And it’s a gift that will have lasting benefits to your whole family as well.

Hugs,

Krista

Photo story: When I’m not coaching, I’m either hugging my husband, or our little lambs.