positive parenting

Happy Home Life Tip #34: 

Did you know it’s possible to raise respectful and responsible kids without using any form of punishment?

It’s true! 

I’ve raised 3 terrific kids by using principles of positive parenting only. 

You don’t ever have to yell, lose your cool, bribe, threaten, take things away, use a time-out, or nag.

Punishing might work in the short term, but most often it tends to worsen your relationship with your child instead of strengthen it. 

For young children it creates fear, confusion and shame.  

They become afraid of making you angry and fear what the punishment might be, confused by what they did wrong and how to fix it, and full of shame by being “bad”.

In older children the threat of punishment not only creates resentment and less respect for your authority, it also encourages your child to develop better strategies for not getting caught.

There is no upside to punishing your child.

The secret to creating loving bonds with your kids and having them willingly cooperate and respect the rules of your family, is to meet their three daily emotional needs. 

They need to feel:

• connected to the family and unconditionally loved

• allowed to make choices and have some control

• capable of figuring things out for themselves

These are often referred to as the 3 C’s: 

connection, control, capability

So the next time your kid behaves poorly, don’t get mad, get curious! 

Try figuring out which emotional need isn’t being met, and looking for ways to help your child feel more emotionally balanced.

I’d be happy to help you implement this skill at home!

Let’s chat.

Hugs,

Krista

Photo story: recent photo of our youngest