allow for differences
Happy Home Life Tip #19
Notice How Often You Allow For Differences
While walking this morning with a friend, I noticed these adorable calves.
At first I saw them as just young Holstein heifers…but as we got closer and my friend offered them her hand, each calf behaved differently.
Most were unsure, some a bit curious and one brave enough to give a slobbery lick!
Just like people, they each have their unique hard-wired temperaments.
How often do you really allow for the unique temperament of your partner or child?
Are you dealing with someone you find ”challenging”?
It’s so easy to expect someone to react to situations like you naturally would, or group all kids together. Especially the same gender!
I have three very different sons, even though they’ve had a similar upbringing, with the same parents.
One’s an analytical introvert that can act outgoing, one’s an easy-going introvert, and one’s a decisive extrovert who likes to get things done.
If faced with a new game…one would join in, one would watch a few rounds first, and the other might prefer to switch to a game he knows.
My husband is a thinker who needs some daily peace and quiet, married to an extroverted doer who views talking-with-others, as necessary as oxygen.
Sometimes we clash!
That’s when I stop and think about how I can get my hard-wired needs met, and accommodate his needs too.
That’s very different than compromising. Compromising means someone gives up something they’d really like to please another.
I’m talking about finding common ground, by tweaking a few thoughts and behaviors, to meet everyone’s needs.
Have you heard of the psychological theory of The Four Temperaments? It dates far back to the Greek physician, Hippocrates.
If you haven’t, it’s about how we’re each born with a predominant temperament…and sometimes one lesser one.
I’m a mixture of red (Choleric) and yellow (Sanguine).
I like to think of myself as orange!
That means I’m a doer who loves to organize, but also outgoing and friendly.
No one I live with is like me.
They say, I can be a bit “too much”, and I choose to take that as a compliment!
I’m fascinated by The Four Temperaments and learning how to allow for them in our family.
If you’re fascinated too, and interested in learning more, I’d love to help you learn how to apply this to your family. This is especially helpful if you’ve been struggling to get along with someone with a “challenging personality”.
Hugs,
Krista